8. First Reading of the Psalms

Psalms 1 to 21 - the debut album

I really struggled with the decision as to how to divide up the psalms. After investigating various different groupings, I realised that if I made it too hard to do I'd probably end up abandoning the whole project. The easy approach looks like this:

Basically, when I fill a page in my notebook, I'll blog it.

I thought that I would agonise over trying to condense a whole psalm into a sentence, but as they often carry a single strong theme it wasn't too hard to find a sentence - finding an interesting sentence was a bit trickier though. Which is not to say that the Psalms aren't interesting, but it could easily be like when some pop artists sample a really good hook line from a classic song and then repeat it and repeat it until it loses everything that made it a catchy line in the first place. I wanted to try and capture something of the meaning of each psalm without losing its feeling. Sometimes it was easy, other times I felt that I hadn't quite got it.

As I pointed out in my introduction I read the bible (almost) daily as part of morning prayer, which means I'll get through the psalms more than once before I'm finished with the rest of the bible, so it'll be interesting to see how my interpretations change over time. Oh - and if you are eagle eyed you will notice slight differences between my handwritten notes in the picture above and what's typed out below. This is where my own sentence made no sense to me as I transcribed it, and so I went back to the psalm and altered my words a bit for clarity.

So, here are my interpreted (and slightly edited) sentences for Psalms 1 to 21:

1. Happy people are fruitful, but the wicked are dust

2. A ranty rant at ranty rulers

3. Please God, shatter the teeth of the wicked!

4. I will lie down and sleep in peace

5. Hear my groaning prayers

6. Don't punish me Lord, hear me

7. Lord, you should be angry about what's happening to me

8. God - why do you care about humans?

9. God is... a safe place

10. The wicked ambush the helpless

11. When the very bottom of things fall out...

12. People praise slick-talking lips and depravity

13. How long will you forget about me God?

14. Fools say there is no God

15. The one who does what's right lives with God

16. I have a lovely home

17. Enemies like lions waiting to pounce

18. God, you light my lamp

19. The Lord's words are perfect, may mine be acceptable

20. Some trust horses, we trust God

21. The Lord is powerful and crushes enemies

If it were the track list from an album I'd definitely want to listen to it! I feel it captures many of the things I love about the Psalms; catchy imagery, everyday problems, human absurdity and, above all that, the goodness and patience of God.

'Track' 2 reads like an unfortunate comedy track (a bit like the inclusion of The Laughing Gnome on a David Bowie Greatest Hits album I nearly bought a while back). The vengeful and violent wishes expressed in 3 are a frequently recurring theme in many Psalms, which I find a bit stomach churning, so I tend to downplay this aspect in my interpretations. 4 is a classic hit that I just couldn't add to and didn't want to subtract from. I think 20 is my favourite so far; I could have substituted 'strength' or 'power' for 'horses', which would have more accurately and logically described what the horses represent in the psalm, but I think it would have lost something important.

Also, I love horses

Psalms 22 to 42 - the second album isn't quite as catchy...

The second section of psalms still felt a bit like an album track list, but it had a few tricky titles, and I had to go back re-read and re-write some of my sentences at the editing stage:

22. God does not despise the suffering
23. God is my shepherd
24. God is king of all
25. I seek the way of God, for the Lord's paths are good
26. I walk with integrity
27. I am sure I will see the goodness of the Lord
28. Pay back the wicked and save me
29. The Lord's voice breaks Cedar trees
30. God bought me back from the pit
31. The Lord is my fortress
32. Confessing to God will keep you safe
33. Strength and power will not save - hope in the Lord
34. The Lord saves the righteous and the suffering
35. Don't let the haters wink at my demise 
36. The wicked are stuck on wrong paths, but God's love reaches further
37. Delight in the Lord and ultimately you will win in life
38. I'm totally broken down and afraid, I will wait for the Lord
39. Lord - give me a break!
40. The Lord saved me, I told of God's deeds, now I need rescuing again
41. I'm not worthy, but save me anyway Lord
42. Though I am brought low, I will thank God

Lots of different images for God in this selection - king, shepherd, fortress - the images swing between strength and care. I enjoyed the repeating theme of God's paths in 25, 26 and 36.

There's a real familiarity in the way the psalmists swing between the highs and lows of their spiritual life, patterns I've seen in my own spiritual journals. One week God is amazing, the next I'm completely crushed and can't find God at all, then something good happens and I'm back at the top of the rollercoaster again - the fickleness of humans is so well described in scripture, as is the steadiness of God

Psalms 43 to 118 (blah blah blah)

I'm finding myself getting a little tired of the Psalms... so many of them feel very similar when you read them through day after day in their printed order. The mood seems to switch between 'the king is great!' (which I don't believe) and 'it's not fair!' (tedious and whiney) and 'God help us squish our enemies' (bloodthirsty and whiney). So I'm going to power through a big chunk at once in this post, and perhaps, further on I'll begin to find more that I want to say about them again. They are divided into groups according to each page from my notebook:

43. I don't want to be sad and oppressed, so I will come to God and renew my hope
44. You saved our ancestors Lord, but now you've retreated and left us to suffer
45. A woman is encouraged to offer herself to the king
46. God is a place of safety
47. Praise God, who is king of all
48. God is like a mighty fortified city on a mountain top
49. Wealth will not save you from death
50. God pronounces judgement on the wicked
51. Rescue me from sin and make me pure again
52. When the rich and powerful are taken out, I will remain because unlike them I'm rooted in God
53. Evildoers and God reject us will come to a bad end
54. God has heard me and saved me
55. The wicked persons racket is devastating!
56. I am constantly trampled but I trust God, because I am God's and God is mine
57. Trapped by enemies, I found refuge in God and so I will sing
58. The righteous will triumph over the wicked because of their God
59. My enemies prowl around me all night, like growling dogs, but I know God is my stronghold against them
60. We are losing this battle because we have lost God - come back and rally us again God!
61. God, hear me and save me and I will honour you
62. God is my only salvation
63. I seek God and I praise God and it feels good

The psalm I found most intriguing in this section was 55. Attributed to David, it seems as if it's describing either a major panic attack or a huge tantrum following betrayal by a friend. The language used by the CEB translation here is quite demanding and childish "Pay attention! Answer me!" (verse 2) which I strangely enjoyed. I feel this kind of 'honest' language, that we turn to in times of great perturbation, is an appropriate way to speak to God when we feel that way. By comparison the same verse in NRSV reads "Attend to me, and answer me; I am troubled in my complaint", which really doesn't convey the same energy and feels artificial.

64. The wicked scheme from hidden places, but they cannot hide from God

65. The abundance of the earth is a song of praise

66. The whole earth and God's people praise God and our witnesses for God

67. God blesses the whole earth, let all people thank God

68. A great big battle hymn of God's triumphs

69. I'm already having a hard time, but my enemies still won't back off - punish them God, wipe them out!

70. God be quick to deliver me from these mockers who laugh in my face

71. All of my life God has rescued and guided me, all of my life I will sing God's praise

72. A last prayer from David; that the king of Israel will rule like God, with mercy and and generosity

73. I used to envy the wealthy scoffers living comfortable lives, but then I realise that without God they are doomed

74. Our enemies have overwhelmed us, only God can save us

75. God will bring down the wicked when the time is right

76. All shall know that God is a terrifying warrior

77. Meditations from a sleepless night

78. An epic ballad of how how God saved a stubborn rebellious people

79. We are helpless in the power of other nations, only God can save

80. God of power, shine your face on us as you did before

81. God songs a song of celebration and lament for Israel

82. A cry for justice

83. A plea for God to smite the enemies of Israel

84. Even small birds can find a place in God's house, I long to be in that wonderful place

Nothing really jumped out at me from this section, there were some good images but nothing that I hadn't already come across many times in previous Psalms

85. Don't give up on us God - the crops are doing well and the people are close to salvation

86. A pleading prayer for rescue

87. God is the source of life and knows all peoples

88. Cry to God constantly there is nothing else I can do

89. God's covenant with David is shaky

90. A prayer to an angry god

91. Sheltering close to God will save you

92. The Lord is eternal and righteous, evildoers seem to flourish but their destruction is inevitable

93. God is majestic and powerful

94. I trust that God will destroy the wicked and save the faithful

95. The people praise God, bow down and worship, but are they listening?

96. Let the whole world and all peoples praise God because God is bringing justice soon

97. All the righteous should give thanks because God is mighty and above all objects of worship

98. The whole world roars it's praise to God who has triumphed and is coming to bring justice

99. God establish justice for those who called for it

100. Celebrate, because God is good

101. David promises to walk with integrity and to root out evil from the city

102. You Lord are forever, look on your groaning people

103. Bless bless bless - let everything bless the Lord!

104. A celebration of God's wonderful creation

105. A retelling of Exodus connecting Abraham and Moses in a single story as God's chosen people

Psalm 105 marks the end of my bout of 'psalm-fatigue'. On the next page of my notebook extra notes, questions and symbols begin to reappear as my brain engages once again with this book of songs and poems. It's a good reminder for me that there are seasons for things. Every aspect and expression of my Christian faith has seasons of energy and enthusiasm as well as seasons of doubt, anger, boredom, frustration and all kinds of other emotions that aren't always easy to categorize

106. A recounting of the Exodus story from the Reed sea to the promised land, emphasizing the failings of the people

107. Consider God's faithful love; he saved those who were lost, imprisoned, foolish and trapped by their desperate circumstances

108. I will get out my instruments, sing to God, and hope for victory in this battle

109. A prayer that God will save me from my accusers and won't let them prosper

110. Praise for all the ways king David seems favoured by God

111. A song of praise to God's righteousness

112. Righteousness lasts but wickedness fades

113. Praise God, who does unexpected things

114. When God acts the whole earth responds

115. Idols are mindless, and those who worship them become like them

116. God gives so much to me, in return I will be God's servant

117. Praise God (short but sweet)

118. God is good and eternally faithful, God has saved me - thanks!

Some lovely Psalms in this section; 107 reads like a folk song celebrating a succession of close shaves with death and salvation by God. Much emphasis on God's faithfulness, the only one I found a bit 'meh' was the exuberant praise of David 110 which seemed somewhat sycophantic.

Some of my experiences of the life of faith have taught me that the kind of 'dry' period I experienced while reading through the Psalms is often unexpectedly fruitful. I can remember a period of nearly two years where going to church services felt excruciating because I was experiencing frequent anger and frustration in my spiritual life - going to church felt so pointless. Somehow I found the strength and encouragement to keep going week by week, until eventually the feelings began to change. When I emerged from the end of that time my faith felt stronger, and I noticed that my understanding of God had changed, and seemed somehow bigger - more expansive and inclusive

Psalm 119 - the longest, but not the best IMHO... but is my opinion humble?

The longest psalm is written from the perspective of someone wanting to be saved, and clearly feeling they deserve to be saved because they've kept God's Law, and I'm afraid I can't say I found it particularly compelling or interesting on first reading

119:1-25. A praise of God's commands which I strive to keep

119:26-40. A plea that I will understand God's commands better

119:41-56. I am completely committed to the instruction God has given me

119:57-72. I didn't always follow God's way, but now I've learnt to do so

119:73-88. I'm trying to follow God's ways, in spite of other people oppressing me - save me from them Lord!

119:89-112. "Your word is a lamp before my feet and a light for my journey"

119:113-128. I don't want to be destroyed like the wicked are, so I stick to your ways

119:129-144. Your laws are wonderful and I want to understand them better

119:145-160. I have kept your laws, so make my life good again

119:161-176. Lord find me and save me, because I really do keep your commandments

On the plus side there are lots of references to God's paths in this one; the nicest of them from verse 105 which I've left unchanged from the CEB translation. Other than that I didn't feel I 'got' much from psalm 119 - now why might that be? Could it have something to do with the Christian lens I view The Law through?

Christianity incorporates Jewish scripture (the Torah, some history, some prophetic writings and some poetry) but focuses more heavily on the stories and teachings of Jesus, his first disciples and the apostle Paul, found in what we call the New Testament. Although the New Testament writings were also written mostly by practicing Jews and refer a lot to Jewish practice and teaching, Christians tend not to think of them as being inherently Jewish. Even the names used to differentiate the two sets of writing - 'New' as opposed to 'Old' Testament - speaks volumes about Christian attitude towards Jewish scripture. The way that the New Testament writers frequently express criticism of the Jewish leaders' interpretation of religious law, along with the way that this emphasis has been interpreted by the church historically, can lead Christians to a negative bias about The Law and about Judaism generally

In recent years Christians in some churches along with Jewish scholars have begun the difficult work of exposing and confronting prejudice towards Judaism, and most modern theologians are much more careful about how they handle interpretation of The Law. But still, the question remains, how do Christians (and by this I mean every Christian, not just those with theological training) appropriately treat The Law when their own understanding of God's grace does not require strict adherence to every aspect of it?

Becoming aware of your own personal bias and prejudice is hard, but I have found it to be of significant importance for spiritual growth. A book changed my attitude towards The Law was AJ Jacobs 'A Year Of Living Biblically'. It's an autobiographical and comic account of an experiential journalist's attempt to live strictly by The Law for a year. AJ described himself as nominally Jewish but mostly agnostic at the start of the experience, but seemed to undergo a spiritual change during the course of it. The book made me begin to understand that The Law was and is transformative

Returning to Psalm 119, I am struck by the boldness of the author. He is not just politely requesting that God hear him, he is demanding it! He's in effect saying "God, we have a deal - a covenant - and I've kept my side, so you have to keep yours. Now get on with it or tell me why. What gives him such boldness? It can only be his confidence in The Law, which has been affirmed and remembered in the history stories of his people and handed on to him. And actually that is the whole point of this psalm

Psalms 120 to 150

The 'home straight' in my first read through of the Psalms

120. I found myself among warlike people and cried out to God to rescue me

121. When I look for help God is there

122. A prayer for Jerusalem

123. We wait and watch for God to free us

124. A short reminder that God saved Israel from Egypt

125. God and God's people are as sure as the mountains

126. May the Lord soothe our tears and make us fruitful like we used to be

127. Work is pointless, unless for God, and children are a gift

128. Those who walk God's ways will be blessed

129. May the wicked who hurt me be brought to shame

130. If God kept track of our sins we would have no hope, but the Lord is faithful in redemptive love

131. I am quiet as a well fed child as I wait for the Lord

132. A prayer that God will remember the promise to anoint those of David's line

133. Families in harmony are a blessing from God

134. All who serve God bless God, and are blessed in return

135. A song of praise for God, recognising all the Lord has done for Israel

136. A song of thanks for creation and for the rescue of Israel

137. A lament for the loss of Jerusalem and a call for vengeance on Babylon

I didn't make many notes for this section, except to observe that psalm 136 had a lovely repeating chorus about God's love lasting forever, which I could imagine being sung responsorially in a great congregation. Also that without the language made familiar in the disco song 'By The Rivers Of Babylon' released in 1978 by Boney M, psalm 137 seemed to communicate sorrow and rage more clearly. It made me wonder whether the Psalms sometimes lose something by being made into songs. Some Psalms were clearly written as songs, but many read more like poems or even raps which I feel could be better mediums for communicating the more challenging emotions like anger. But I doubt we'll be rapping angry psalms in church any time soon, even if that were possible the 'cursing psalms and verses are generally left of the lectionaries for main Sunday church services

138. Thank you God for being with me

139. God you know me in every way, lead me on

140. Lord rescue the righteous and let the wicked be trapped by their own snares

141. Hear my prayer and protect me

142. I'm yelling out to God because no one else can save me

143. Help me quickly Lord, for I'm fading away

144. God made me a fighter; now I ask for victory, so that we can live in peace and plenty

145. God is great and good, the whole world proclaims it, and so will I

146. Don't trust humans, trust God

147. Everything happens according to God's will

148. Every single thing ever made should praise the Lord

149. Let the people praise God and avenge their enemies

150. Praise God as loudly as you can!

Lots of short praise psalms as we coast towards the end, which made for a nice upbeat finish. When reading the very familiar psalms (like 139) I found that the CEB translation gave a fresh voice to them, although in a few places the colloquialisms made me cringe a bit

3. Romans - from the dreary to the... equally dreary?

After the dreary details of legalistic worship in Leviticus I thought it would be nice to delve into something 'totally Christian'. I toyed with the idea of tackling a gospel but then remembered that the epistle to the Romans has been cited, by many Christians through the ages, as one that has inspired, (and in some cases initiated) their faith. It struck me also that Romans doesn't appear so often in the Sunday lectionary readings - in the way that Corinthians, Colosians and Ephesians seem to - and I wondered why this might be, considering how historically influential it has been. I quickly realised that it doesn't have quite the 'kerbside appeal' of the other, more often quoted epistles attributed to the apostle Paul:

1. People generally know of God, but not the gospel

2. God's kindness is supposed to cause a change in you

3. All are sinners, but all can have righteousness through faith in Jesus

4. The uncircumcised are Abraham's Descendants by faith

5. One sin condemned many, God's grace in Jesus restores all

6. Through baptism you are dead to sin, be obedient to God and live

7. Sin is inert in us, until we try to follow goodness, then it flares up like a fatal illness

8. We have hope because the Spirit lives in us - a love connection that cannot be broken

9. Paul feels sad that some do not accept the gospel, but glad that some do

10. Listen. Trust. And confess that Jesus is lord

11. The branches of the gospel are growing from, and on, the root and trunk of Israel

12. Offer yourself to God, and serve the calling of your heart

13. Government is God's servant, taxes are God's assistant, the only debt you should owe is to love

14. Don't argue with other Christians, the details of belief matter to you, not to God

15. Through the Jews the gospel has come to many, I (Paul) plan to take it further yet, with the support of other Christians

16. Hello! Hello! To all Christian brothers and sisters

Reading through my headlines here, it seems like quite a nice read, but in the case of a Romans, a quick glance is a bit deceptive! What you don't see are Paul's various rants; straight away, in the first chapter, Paul rants against homosexuality. After reading a whole chapter on this topic in Leviticus I had hoped for more spiritual content - less writing about what people should and shouldn't do with their bodies. To anyone who wants to grapple with Paul's thinking about homosexuality in Romans I would suggest focusing on verses 28 to 31 in chapter 1, and ask yourself the following questions:

What kinds of people fit this description?

There is indeed some great Christian teaching in Romans, in fact teaching the faith seems to be the main purpose of this epistle. But what struck me very hard is that it is very much Paul's teaching, and Paul had a lot of hang ups. His voice carries that same legalistic tone which dominated Leviticus and his convoluted arguments and counter arguments are pedantic and (quite frankly) dull. During the great era of rhetoric which dominated Roman culture, Paul's manner of speaking was probably very on trend, but today the comment that I suspect most would post if Paul's epistle were a blog is TLDR.

My favourite part was definitely the greetings at the end, where he puts down his agenda, his legal speech and for a moment we catch a glimpse of the friendly and enthusiastic man he must have been. In chapter 16 he seems so keen to make sure that no one is left out of the greetings and introductions, and the bit towards the end where his 'co workers' leap in to add their hellos is just delightful.

I have thought before that it's easy to lose sight of Paul when you focus too hard on the details of his teaching. So, even though my headlines skip a lot of the content of Romans, I'm pleased to think that they might somehow grasp something of the essence of this man, who took Christianity further and spread the message of God's saving love more indiscriminately and generously than any other apostle or missionary I can think of.

2. Leviticus - the broccoli of biblical books

I decided to start this Bible reading adventure with Leviticus for the same reason I tend to eat the broccoli first at dinner - to get it over with as quickly as possible. I don't expect to enjoy this book, but like broccoli I think it's a useful source of... something.

The sentences gleaned from my daily readings reveal practice which is very bodily in nature. This is interesting when you consider that Leviticus was a sort of handbook for Jewish temple priests - surely it should be very spiritual and mystical? But the overall impression is that being a priest was long, hard manual labour - butchery, blood splattering and burning - as well as having to get very up close with personal parts of other people's bodies. Not a job for the squeamish, and I think their hair and clothes must have smelt terrible:

1. all about burnt food offerings

2. burnt food offerings are a pleasing odour to God

3. all the fat belongs to God - burn it

4. purification ritual

5. what to do about accidental sin

6. extra ritual for the priests

7. yet more offerings for various things

8. priestly ordination butchery

9. yet more complicated butchery

10. Aaron's sons screw up

11. unclean things!! (Rock Badgers)

12. to me it seems that daughters are preferable...

13. dermatological diagnosis of uncleanness

14. getting over a skin disease is expensive

15. all you never wanted to know about genital emissions

16. poor little scapegoat

17. bring all sacrifices to the temple or they don't count

18. detestable sex

19. rules for right living

20. death to sinners!

21. perfect priests?!

22. Israel must treat God as holy

23. festivals and holidays

24. stone blasphemers

25. jubilee and insular generosity

26. REMEMBER

27. the cost of getting out of an oath that you want to take back

Leviticus is a detailed handbook and holds some very specific instruction about what to do and what not to do, to be right with God. It's important to remember that these rules were considered a good thing, a liberating thing, because they gave a measure of certainty about what God's people looked like and how they behaved. It helped people to get their religion right, and that was very important.

One of the misleading impressions given in the book though is that all of this complicated ritual was taking place in a tent in the wilderness. This is a book for temple priests which has been retrospectively applied (by them) to Israel's 40 years in the wilderness in a nostalgic kind of way. From a scientific mindset this seems inaccurate and dishonest, it's tempting to cry "they're just making it up!" And to dismiss the whole thing. A closer look at the contents doesn't encourage the modern reader either; if you care about animals the amount of slaughter is stomach churning.  Even the scapegoat (ch 16) doesn't actually get away, he was driven into the wilderness to die - after all nobody wanted to risk the animal carrying all of the sins of the people wandering back to join it's flock! Gruesome stuff, but a good analogy for the way that sin separates people from God, perhaps. The treatment of people with anything considered as 'disfigurement', or those with unfortunate skin conditions, and the general attitude towards women and those of other nations is also discomforting. And I'm not going to get into the way this text has been used to condemn homosexuality (as many other more qualified Bible commentators are tackling these problem texts much more thoroughly than I could.)

All in all, I'd be surprised if many Christians cited Leviticus as their favourite book of the bible, but while we may hold it lightly we can't ignore it completely. It is one of the sources of 'The Law' which Jesus and Paul talk about so much in the new testament, and while both of them challenged interpretation neither sought to destroy these teachings.

Having said all that, I'm relieved to have 'finished my broccoli' and I'm not in a hurry for another portion. The chapter I found most interesting was the last one which is primarily a long list of monetary values. I got quite angry while reading it at the way women were consistently 'cheaper' than men, so I did have a glance at my commentary, which suggested that this wasn't about general worth but more a reflection of physical strength. It's to do with getting out of rash oaths, and it seems that this was a something of a problem. Apparently people (okay - we're just talking about men here) would say things like "if the thing I want happens I'll give my son/daughter/Mother-in-law/slave to God!" And then when the thing happened as they hoped they had to follow through by donating said son/daughter/Mother-in-law/slave (or whatever) to work in the temple for a year or so. So the lists of values gave an opportunity for a foolish (possibly drunken) man to get out of his oath without bringing down the wrath of God or the condemnation of the community on his head. It's a face-saver. So it seems God allowed for idiots in 'The Law'. I find this very reassuring. The values assigned represented how much temple work the promised person would have been able to do, and because the kind of work done at the temple was manual labour and also because women couldn't enter some parts they were less useful. Older people were cheaper to redeem too for the same reason - they just couldn't lug as many carcasses. The chapter repeatedly warns men not to make oaths at all, but the detailed price lists suggest that many didn't heed the warnings. I blame testosterone.

Oh - and the mention of rock badgers in chapter 11 (one of the animals among the long list of others that were considered unclean) is a reference to a funny talk by Justin Welby when he was bishop of Durham and visiting a secondary school. Apparently he once had to read this text at a big cathedral service (before becoming a bish) and totally lost it when he got to the line about not eating rock badgers because they were an abomination unto God. Apparently he ended up hanging onto the lectern with tears of laughter streaming down his face. He said that when he was made a bishop the good folks of his sending parish had a rock badger carved into the bishop's crook they gave him as a leaving gift, to remind him never to take things too seriously. A lesson I thoroughly endorse.